Win Lose Situation

Win: Me. When you play an eight-game season, every game counts. Team FAT 1 (free agent team #1), a band of misfits of varying levels of talent, skill, athleticism, and assholicism, seemed destined for mediocrity. Each game was a challenge, nay, a struggle. Other teams were faster and stronger, yet we came out on top in every game I played. Yes, I took a few off, but it was all in good judgement. I was fresh for the playoffs. And in those playoffs, we won, and we won again. And we were champions.

Lose: Unfortunately, those playoffs were delayed a months by the blizzard of '09. The four-team tournament was played on January 4th, which I can tell you is no longer "fall". This was falls cold, stupid brother, winter. And if I've ever been more cold I can't tell you when. 35 mph winds and temperatures in the teens are not things that I would associate with warmth. So as you can now see, although I have the hardware to prove I'm a winner, I also have the face, to show I'm a loser.

Happiness? Or pain?

That is a good looking dude.

Old, New, and out of the Blue

Old: Christmas Lights. Honestly, I thought that in delaying this post about a week, I'd be too late to blog about it. But on my way home TODAY, I saw at least a half dozen houses lit like it was still December 25th. What exactly are they waiting for? I'm sorry children, if Santa hasn't come yet, he is not coming. I mean we're halfway to Easter..might as well keep em up 'til then. And if you make it that far it's almost Christmas in July. Hell, then we're back to real Christmas again. That is SOoOOo convenient!!111!

If you assume that the lights have been up since Black Friday when most giddy Christmas decoration enthusiasts put their lights up (and I actually don't mean to sound insulting about that because you're talking to the guy who was lazy and put his lights up... never), then that's... well I'm also too lazy to get a calendar but it has to be at least 150 days ago. It's enough people, let's take the lights down. Or at least not plug them in.

Pardon me for sounding like Andy Rooney on 60 minutes, but another thing thats getting old is the "that's why the terrorists hate us" joke. If you've never heard, it's basically the line you say after someone makes a comment about how absurd Americans are. It was kind of funny the first time, but it's just overused now. Plus, I am proud that American families love buying bulk toilet paper and 5 gallon jars of mayonnaise at Costco.

New: The word, "ladywood".

In a sentence:
Marshall: "You think she was into me?"
Ted: "Full on lady-wood."
It's about time there was a word for a girlboner.

Out of the blue: I just put this in the title to make it rhyme.

Mike Krzyzewski Has Never Seen the Movie "Glory Road"

I just realized I can't watch Duke play basketball. My TV doesn't have a pale enough white to accurately display the skin tones of 4/5 of their starting lineup, and what I'm pretty sure is their entire bench. This is the whitest team I've seen in ages. I cannot look at Kyle Singler. Coach K, let these kids out of the gym. They need the sunlight.

Disclaimer: The words of this post shall not be construed as racist. 'Cause I am half white.