Oh, Deer

I hate driving down Route 17 South.

I've only done it twice counting today, but I have good reason to hate it.

First, it's where I got my ticket back when I was in high school for going 82 in a 55 mph zone. Well, it was more like... 90's, but who's counting? I was momentarily an idiot, and the day was so traumatizing that I now try to keep my speed at only about 15 over the limit.

Second, it goes to Virginia beach.

But really, anyone will tell you thats a dumb way to get from Northern Virginia down to the Hampton Roads area. While "Middlesex County" may sound more intriguing than Before or Aftersex Counties, it's full of cops waiting to pull you over. The first time I drove 17 I thought I'd be beating 95 traffic and didn't know better. This time I was coming from my Dad's in southern Maryland on 301 and I mistakenly followed a sign that said "Newport News, this way!" and ended up on 17. Remember--the trauma--so I almost turned around immediately after I realized my folly. But I decided to face my fear and carried on.

I set the cruise control at 1 mph above the speed limit on my trusty rented Dodge Ram to ensure nothing could go wrong. Both feet up on the dash and hands behind my head, I continued driving to the hotel room I currently live in. But this is 17, it doesn't leave you alone. It was getting dark, and since no one else was on the road, the shape I saw in the road seemed mysterious. Well, the mystery was quickly over, as I realized it was a dumb stupid deer probably trying to eat asphalt about 50 feet ahead of the truck's oversized grill. I hit the breaks and the horn simultaneously, and my luggage/clothes hangers/face lunged forward. Luckily, the dumb stupid deer got out of the way, because like my American Indian ancestors, I believe in using all parts of any animal I kill, and I certainly was not going to ruin the Five Guys I was planning on having for dinner. Naw but seriously, I'm not trying to kill a baby deer and I'm glad that everybody made it out alright, although it does give new meaning to "deer in headlights" for me personally.

All in all, I consider evading wildlife and not getting pulled over as counting for two points, so I'm beating Rt. 17 2-1. Hopefully, the game is over.